The story why I am hurting right now

May 25, 2012 at 2:38 am (love, relationship)

this started like two months ago,  i broke up with him because i think he is so naive and insensitive. But after two weeks I realized that I missed him so much and that I can’t live without him anymore (we’ve been together for more that 3 years). But when I approached him that I want us back together the unexpected happened, he doesn’t want me anymore…he said he will come back to me, he just needs time to fix everything because he doesn’t want to hurt me anymore. And there i begged, “please don’t leave me, i can’t handle this”. But his decision was final I could do nothing to change it.

Well you see, he’s not like that, he’s the kind of a guy that would kneel in front of me for my forgiveness. He loved me so much back then, but in just two weeks, all of it has changed. HE HAS CHANGED.

but despite of that we still see each other, he goes to our house, we’ll have a good time, laughter, hugs and kisses, but the feeling is not complete though, then this thought will come to my mind, why doesn’t he want me back, we’re happy, like what it used to be. I can’t understand everything! but i decided not to open the topic cause i know it’ll all be complicated again.

so we’ve been like that for two months, there are some boys whose interested to me, but I did not entertain them because despite of him not wanting me, he still love me, and doesn’t want me to entertain suitors. So last night we talked, then we had a fight, I got mad at him because he was acting sarcastic because there was a guy who liked me, who told me that I looked blooming that he wants to court me. So i told him what’s wrong with that!? don’t act as if like you’re my boyfriend (i know it’s my fault, i have such a bad mouth when I’m angry)

so he said, “yeah you’re right. Do whatever you want to do”

just when i thought that it doesn’t hurt anymore…last night all the pain came back

there’s a reason behind what i said, because i want him to say that he want me back because he doesn’t want me to be with any other guy but him.

but last night instead of saying that, it happened like the other way around

he chose to give me to others that to come back to me  😦


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Love Forgives and Forgets

March 28, 2011 at 6:52 pm (love, Novels, relationship, romance, stories, writings) (, , , , , , , , )

This started when me and my ex boyfriend started fighting more often. Then this day came when our argument got worst and leads to break up. We still have communication-text and call each other- trying to fix things but unfortunately we ended up blaming each other. And it can’t get any worst.

Because of what happened his attitude towards me has changed. He could resist me. He doesn’t text me, visit me at school, etc, etc,. I mean he’s not that, he doesn’t do all that. He just suddenly changed. And it all happened in just a week.

So we still have an unfinished business, so we still text and call each other. We did break up, but it’s not official yet. So that means we’re still not allowed to flirt with anybody, besides only a week had passed.

So me and my friends (Wendy and Justine) had an idea… “What if we text him using other cellphone number and pretend like we’re some other girl who likes him?”

Aaand we did it. We texted him “HELLO”..After  few hours he replied “Who’s this?”

“What am I going to say?” I asked Justine. “Invent a name!” she said “How ‘bout TRISH?”.. “TRISH sounds good”

“I’m Trish, I’ve been seeing you in school a lot” I said

“Oh really? Who gave you my number?” he said

“Think of an alibi” Wendy and Justine said…

“He might get angry if I tell you that he gave your number to me” I said

“Why is that so? Hmm.. so what course are you taking up?” he replied

“HRM.. how ‘bout you? What’s your department? Your uniform’s blue shirt right?”

“yeah.. I study BSIT..” he replied

“Ask him if he has a girlfriend” my friend said

“ you have a girlfriend?’ I texted as my heart pounded harder getting more nervous of what’s he’s going to answer. Is it gonna be YES or NO. I wish he says YES I DO HAVE A GIRLFRIEND I thought.

“Actually, we just broke up..hehe(laugh)” he replied

“Ouch!” I said.. I wasn’t expecting that. (In our two years relationship, we had a lot of break ups. And whenever someone asks him did we break up. He’ll answer “NO” even though the truth is we did break up. So I was really surprised when he answered that “WE JUST BROKE UP”. It really hurts, I want to cry but that time)

“Oh, so could I be your new one? Haha..just kidding” I replied

“Haha..funny…so what do you look like?” he said

“OH MY GOSH! Now he’s interested. What a jerk he still know that you guys are still like attached. Right?” my friend said. “Tell him you want to him meet him in person”

“What if we meet in person? There you’ll know what I look like.” I texted.

“Next time maybe.. I’m afraid I might fall in love with you when I met you..haha” he said

That, is what I really did not expect. He never does that with other girls. He never got interested with other girls. That’s when I started to cry, I cried so hard.. “Stop crying” my friends said.. then they were the one texting him when I was crying.

When I can’t take it anymore I texted him and told him who I really am.

“Do you really want to know who gave you cellphone number? Do you know Allicah?”

Then he did not replied for a while, “I did not mean to do that” he said “WTF Nick!! What do you mean you did not mean to do that!!” I feel like my blood’s boiling in so much anger.

The argument lasts for 2 days, he still insists that he did not meant to do what he did. Then I went to his house to talk to him. It’s been a week since we last met. It was the first time we met after the break up.

So we had the talk..”I’m really sorry, I wasn’t serious about everything I said I was just making fun”..”Making fun!? What? You didn’t even thought of’re having fun with your textmate while I’m having a hard time crying because of you? You didn’t even thought of that!? You’re a big jerk Nick! I hate you!!  You know it’s not you, the old you would never do that”

“ I know… but I really don’t know what’s gotten into me.. why I did that.. but please believe me, I still love you. And it will never change. I will love you forever”

“Oh c’mon! do you really think I would believe you!? Why should I believe the guy who wasted my trust!?”

“ I promise I will make it up to you. I will do everything. Just tell me what you want me to do.”

I cried..and cried and cried.. and I felt his warm body hugged me tighter and tighter. I missed that hug. I missed that old him. I closed my eyes because it got hurt because of so much crying. Then I felt his lips kissed my cheeks twice. Those warm hug and kiss, I really missed it. Then he touched my chin, pulled my face towards him, and kissed me. We had a passionate kiss, a kiss that we both missed. While kissing him I felt like he never did something wrong and he really loves me.

But of course I will not let it happened just like that. I will not make up with unless you do something romantic with full of efforts. I want to see your sincerity. “I will do everything just wait…I Love You So So Much..I wish you forgive me..I’ll never do that I again..I promise”

Then we smiled at each other like nothing happened at all…

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